Essentials
Robert Lopez

There were too many people there when it happened so I've decided to cut some of them. Arthur Wheeler was present but had nothing to do with it. Gil Figgitz was whittling with his fly open, dementia worsening, so why put him in? All June Harrison does is take up space and this was no exception. Likewise husband, Bill. I know for a fact Judy Jakker wanted nothing to do with it, she said so in that grating Jersey accent of hers, so out of respect for Judy I'll say she wasn't even there. Betty Lager is an easy cut, despite the jean shorts and pedicured toes. Frank Pugo shouldn't have been mixed up in this in the first place and his role, from what I understand, was minimal. William Shedd doesn't need this kind of recognition at this stage of the game, given his situation. As far as Harriet Dovovich is concerned it's best to leave well enough alone. Diego Goldstein wasn't there at all, but he's my friend and he'd be excited to see his name included. Dottie Western was there, but only for a few minutes. She left her turquoise Indian bracelet so I have to remember to call her. Pugo's mother was there, I remember seeing her, but I don't think she was involved, although it wouldn't surprise me. I'd like to say Bennie Mangine was there and responsible for the whole thing, but I'd be lying. Nextdoor Jill probably had something to do with it, but I've been trying to get her to watch me from her bedroom window at night and we're in the latter stages of negotiations. Considering what Jenn Untermeyer did for me the night of Bill Shedd's going away party there's no way I can put her in the middle of this. Along those same lines Grace Heaney gets a pass too. Of course, Sam Marichino was in it up to his ears, but given his condition... Dale Sween has always known discretion was the better part of valor. Fran Pollo was acting awfully strange, maybe she'll stay in, I'm not sure. She let me feel her up when we were sixteen so I'm sure I owe her something. Denise Livingston never seemed quite right to me. Her eyes are far apart and she is always bumping into things. It's as if she can only muster an inconsequential peripheral vision. Sal Gonzalez saved my ass once. Maybe the train wouldn't have killed me, but who knows? So regardless that all the evidence points to Sal, I could never name him. At any rate, those are the people I'm cutting. I'm not sure if it'll make a difference. By the time the cops got there it was out of our hands. I'm not sure who called them. I was contemplating Nextdoor Jill's counteroffer when someone tapped me on the shoulder. There were two of them. The one with the moustache said, What's the problem here? I said, There's no problem and looked him in the eye. It's best if you look them in the eye. Then he said, Well, someone has a problem. I said nothing. It's best if you can look them in the eye and say nothing at the same time. Then they both noticed what had happened in the living room. The other one said, Does it have something to do… with...? I said, Yes, officer, it does.

© Robert Lopez